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COLUMN: How to calm the chaos

When life seems overwhelming, remember these tips
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Recently, I’ve been indulging in a good whine. And I don’t mean the bottled variety that comes with a cork, but the “Woe is me, life is so busy, how will I ever get everything done?” kind of whine.

Someone casually asks, “How are you?” and my complaints cascade out before they can reel their question back in.

Really, though, what do I have to complain about? Yes, there’s work, two kids, a house and an overgrown yard, and life is busy, but whose isn’t? It’s time to suck it up. Women have always been this busy, right?

What’s different though, explained Amanda Bagliore, founder, owner and operator of Live Simple Solutions, is that women these days are often torn in more directions and often at the same time. 

“We have so many different balls in the air,” she said.

Although we might not be able to change how much needs to get done, developing a routine can change how we feel about doing it, she explained.

“When you don’t consciously choose what’s in your life, that’s when it can take a toll on us.”

But before we can tackle the chaos around us, we must first deal with the chaos within.

“Chaos in your mind happens when you don’t ever slow down; when you never give yourself a chance to create grey matter,” she said.

Among many things, grey matter is responsible for memories, seeing, hearing and emotions. It decreases with stress and age, and can increase with exercise, meditation and eating a good breakfast.

Set aside time each day, suggests Bagliore, to shut down and just be.

“Whether it’s 15 minutes, 45 mins or an hour… it will make productivity levels in your physical life so much stronger.”

With ourselves taken care of, the next step is to consciously decide on your tasks for the day. Which, Bagliore explains, is best done by creating a list and consciously accepting what’s on there.

“The days when you just wake up and forget why you’re doing what you’re doing is when you find yourself unhappy.”

The list, however, must be realistic (redecorating the front room while baking a birthday cake and making dinner with two little ones at your feet might be best saved for another day).

“If they’re unrealistic you’re setting yourself up for failure.”

And, whatever you do, don’t attempt to clean the house in one day. It’s about breaking things down into small, achievable units. The chaos happened overtime – so too will the clean-up.

“Nothing is ever done and there is no perfect… you’re just constantly progressing and moving forward.”

Perhaps today is the day you tackle the toilets, or the sinks or just one bathroom, she suggests.

Then, choose an amount of time that works for you and dedicate it to getting things done. If all you have is five minutes, that’s great. During that time, simply focus on working through your list.

Being efficient is the best way to make the most of your time. One way to do this is to keep cleaning supplies handy.

“If you just have one cleaning cupboard downstairs and you’re upstairs taking a shower, and your mirror is filthy, chances are you’re not going downstairs to get your cleaner. If your bottle of mirror cleaner is in place, you’re going to do it more frequently.”

This strategic, deliberate progression can work for your yard too.

“I have a large yard full of plants but when I look out at the start of spring, I could have a nervous breakdown! But at lunch break, if I spend 15 minutes outside doing something I love, my day just goes way better. Plus, my workload just got better. It’s about little increments. I’m progressing every day. I’m not trying to do it all at once.”

The more efficient and productive you are, the more peaceful and calm you’ll feel, explains Bagliore.

So, accept what needs to be done, write it down and then let go. 

“You know it’s going to get done because you’ve trained yourself to work in increments. Remind yourself about that and feel good because everything is easier, less daunting and more manageable when you’re happy.”

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